Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Grandparents...
Most kids have them, mine don't. My wife's mother died from cancer the year before I met her, and Alfred passed away earlier this year. So that leaves my kids without Grandparents... Why this post you might ask... Well, Taylor got on my lap a few minutes ago and asked me, "Why do Grandpa and Grandma hate us?" I didn't quite know what to say actually... I told her that of course they don't hate you honey, but it's complicated. Why is that? Why is it complicated? Of course my children are not aware of all that has gone on in the past year or so, so they have no clue. I'll clue them in later. I RARELY allow the events of the past year or so to bother me, until my six year old crawls up on my lap and asks me questions like that. How do you respond to such questions? I don't know... The fact is though, they DON'T have Grandparents, they do, but not ones that give a shit about them... Who knows, I suppose I'll figure some story out to tell them.. Suggestions???
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13 comments:
Comment if you want, I know most people who read my blog, and a LOT do, don't comment... Whatever...
Its hard to comment on this... I think its wrong of them not to talk to their grandchildren, if they don't ever talk to them - PERIOD. so that's a tough subject to discuss with a small child that asks that question -
I do know I will NEVER be that way with my grandchildren (which I HOPE are a long way off yet) :)
I found it:
Adopt a Grandparent...
Yeah, it is a difficult subject for the kids, I suppose I'll have to explain it to them sooner or later... Maybe later...
Yes, it does boggle one's mind how people can just so easily "write off" anyone who does something they don't agree with.
I know what you mean, Nick had asked me before about grandparents, of course they have grown up with LeRoy's father not acknowledging them as his grandchildren. We always approached as that we needed to pray extra hard for him as he had trouble with relationships. It is hard for children to understand though, especially if it is family.
Oh, that is a tough one. My kids have asked why they don't come visit them anymore, etc. It's always "grandpa is too sick to travel" (what I was told was the reason they canceled their last trip to see us), and your 'it's complicated'. Because my kids aren't stupid. They know that something is up and that I don't talk to mom/dad anymore - and when it was all going on, they would overhear things, etc.
I will ditto Marci's comment of "I will NEVER be that way with my grandchildren". I don't get it. I don't get it at all!!! How stubborn can a person be???
Yes, I agree it is difficult topic. But what I have always thought is to be honest without giving out too much information.
But do remind her that she may not have the greatest set of grandparents, but she has the most AMAZING sets of Aunts and Uncles who she can call and come visit anytime ALL OVER THE COUNTRY!! Not many kids are as lucky as she is to have such a loving family as the one she is a part of.
We had SUPER grandparents, but our aunt and uncle were not good people. But our parents always focused on what we had, not what we were missing. worked for us! :D
Hope that is helpful!
Yeah, my kids aren't "stupid" either, and I know they realize something is going on, just not sure of the details. Whatever though, they are BETTER off without those two lunatics in their lives.
Jackie, you are quite correct, they have PLENTY of Uncles and Aunts, and that is what we'll concentrate on!! :)
My kids don't have any ill will towards their grandparents, just wonder why they saw them all the time before, and now it's been more than a year and a half. Of course, I live far away, so it probably isn't as 'in their face' as it is with your kids - since they just live down the road (I consider 3 hours away 'down the road).
I've said it before and I'll say it again... if ANY of my children or grandchildren had a problem with me, no matter WHAT I thought they had done to me, I would be beating down the door until the relationship was GREAT. That's my main problem - is the just 'ignoring' the situation... FIX it, you know?
Oh, mine don't either! Tanner just handed me a card last night to send them because they sent him a present for his birthday.
I'm WITH you though (and Marci) on the whole, if my children EVER have an issue with me, I'd beat their doors down trying to resolve it!! To do otherwise would not even be a factor in the equation for me!!
I will also say that I am likely as stubborn as they are, but not when it comes to my children!! I think most of us are actually! We now know we come by it honestly, but you can take it to extremes, as they have...
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