Thursday, May 17, 2007

Family...

I'm sure everyone has heard the saying, "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.". I'm a VERY family oriented person, as are many of my siblings... The events that have happened over the past year or so though have sickened me. I'm glad they happened though, because you can see people's TRUE colors when things such as this happen. I had a conversation with one of my siblings this evening, and it is QUITE refreshing actually to be getting a new start without all the drama. So we'll be kind of starting anew I guess. We'll start the whole "family" thing at this level, forgetting about all the horse shit from the past. I'm SO glad my children will NEVER have to go through what me and my siblings did. I used to have hope that 'things would work out', I no longer do. We'll just start fresh. Forget the past, move on, and have fun with our families. I'm looking forward to it actually...

14 comments:

Petra said...

I have also had positive outcomes over the events of the past year, but also been saddened in some ways. It's certainly made me reevaluate my own family (my husband and children) and how I act towards them. :)

Titus said...

it's true what you say about 'true colors' and it's quite real that when people are forced to define where they stand you can see what they are really made of. i'm glad the past year happened the way it did, and am a better person because of it.

those who live life to appease other people always sicken me.

Joshua Goodling said...

Yes, you can learn a lot about people by how they respond to certain things.

And yes, family is important!

WHO is marci? said...

I think everyone should always live a portion of their lives for others. I live quite a bit of my life for my boys :) And love every minute I spend with them.

The order should be Jesus, OTHERS and you.

:) Just my two cents.

WHO is marci? said...

by the way - joe is no longer your family, although I know you like him. we are officially divorced as of Monday.

Matthew said...

Yeah, no shit Marci, I know you are divorced as of Monday... Does it really matter if I still talk to Joe? I actually can't help it, even if I didn't want to talk to him, I hired him to do work for me, which he is actually still working on. Matter of fact, we just got through eating dinner and are about to continue working. What is your point? Not exactly sure how your other comment has anything to do with the post. Of course we should all care about others, and CERTAINLY we should spend a LOT of time with our children, but no, you don't live your life for your children, you are to train and raise your children in a Godly fashion. We live our lives for God! We also are to live our lives together WITH our spouses in a Godly fashion, matter of fact, you and your spouse are in God's eye's to live as ONE FLESH!! So don't come on here and attempt to chastise me or anyone else, the Bible is QUITE clear on this topic....

Matthew said...

Marci called me shortly after I posted this and told me she no longer wants anything to do with me. That's fine, not really though, she is my sister. I sent her an e-mail and told her that I will ALWAYS be here for all of my siblings, no matter WHAT! She somehow thought my post had indicated that I had written her off. Why do I post this, because this issue has been an open book, I'm keeping it that way. I didn't write anyone off. I LOVE all of my siblings, period! I love my parents. There are issues though, and some people deal with them differently than others. I've dealt with my issues and am glad the events of the past year happened actually, had they not, I might be a miserable wreck. I'm not though, and for that I am thankful.

Matthew said...

Yeah, I know, painful subject for some, I prefer to be brutally honest. It's actually a painful subject for me, but I've dealt with it and moved on. It does nauseate me however how many people out there who are aware of issues like this that go on all over America, and yet people just want to "keep the status quo"; "if no one knows, what does it really matter?"; "Well, it's only x, y and z who are affected"... On and on it goes! Well, they are people! If people have issues, are we not supposed to help them? I do know that not many in this family ever would. That is OBVIOUS. If someone is crying out for help though, is it not our DUTY as Christians to help? Or is it just me??

Matthew said...

yup! This post will soon be buried in the past, and everyone can 'forget' about it... Sad really, but that's the way it is these days...

Jackie said...

I know that I am not quite family, so I probably shouldn't comment, but you will be soon (75 days!!!). From where I sit, you are all so amazing in your own right. The stories I have heard/read about your childhood are horrific, but you all have come out so well. You all seem to very happy and successful in your own lives and I can't wait to meet even more of in person!

This experience has been very helpful to not only Titus but me as well. This all started fairly early in our relationship and without it, I don't know if Titus would have shared with me all about what he went through as a child. I now have a better understanding of who he is as a man and how much love he has in him that he wants to share. This knowledge has given me the tools on how I can be a better girlfriend/wife to him. So, for all the pain that happened, there is SOOO much more good that came out of it and I am thankful!

Matthew said...

Oh Jackie, you are as much family as anyone else! Comment away and speak your mind! :)

I think all of my siblings are stubborn and strong, luckily! So we all overcame and persevered. I do know that the whole thing has helped most in the family, and I'm glad you were there when it was going on.

75 days!! We can't wait! My kids ask me nearly every day, "How many days now Dad?". :)

Daniel said...

There is freedom in honesty.

Whether or not the issues you blog about are anybody else's business (which thought I know is what keeps most of your readers from commenting). . . personally, I think the "Mind your own business" notion comes from a juvenile mindset that doesn't want to hear anything corrective or anything that rubs the wrong way. For me, you can offer whatever thoughts you have about me and/or my life -- if I disagree, I can say so; otherwise, who knows. . . I might learn something from you.

I think people can still love each other even when saying, "I think you are 100% wrong on x issue, and I totally disagree with you." Say what you got to say, and move on. (That's just a general statement, not directed at you, Matt, or anybody else necessarily.)

Matthew said...

"I think the "Mind your own business" notion comes from a juvenile mindset that doesn't want to hear anything corrective or anything that rubs the wrong way"

Couldn't agree more! Most would rather live in their own little "fantasy" world.

I also think there can be disagreement, Titus and I disagree on virtually everything! :) We are still friends though, and there are not many people I want to talk to other than Titus!

"which thought I know is what keeps most of your readers from commenting"

Less than 1% of my posts are on topics that some would consider to be 'none of anyone's business", I think anyway, I haven't actually calculated... :)

Comment away here though, if you want to, I don't expect to see a huge rise in the comments though... :)

Daniel said...

Less than 1% of my posts are on topics that some would consider to be 'none of anyone's business"

Good point.